One of my biggest setbacks as an artist is my inability to ask people for help. I believe that this has been one of the main roadblocks that's constantly standing in my way. I’m not sure if it is a pride issue or a fear of rejection or maybe because I just want to do everything on my own. It could be an amalgamation of all things. Whatever the reasoning may be, it's not helpful. I can’t do everything on my own. I do need help. But why is it so hard to ask?
Nerves and anxiety play a big role in my hesitation in asking for help. What if they say no? What if I look stupid asking? The What If’s are enormous and pointless and crazy and stupid and now I’m just running this sentence on and on and on. Ok I’m done. But really, dude. No one thinks like that. And if they do, they’re not a good person and who cares about them anyway? So how can I help myself and people like me get over this? I’ve devised a little plan of attack.
Call out your Nerves
Nerves and anxiety are the pesky little things surrounding potentially stressful situations. Sometimes these nerves are detrimental and can stop us from doing things, but sometimes they are a great little motivator. It’s always important to remember that nerves are a proper response from the body because of a situation. When I remind myself of this before asking for help, I'm reminded that I'm supposed to feel nervous and that's totally cool. Address them and move on.
What's the worst that can happen?
They say no. We’ve all heard this a million times right? Is there a fear of hearing the word no? I almost think it’s a fear of looking pathetic or weak in front of another individual. Especially an individual you look up to. But let's turn this situation around for a second. How do you feel when someone asks you for help? I don't know about you, but usually I'm totally willing to help and interested in offering what I have to offer. I've never looked at a person asking for help as an idiot. Usually I'm more impressed by their ability to ask for help (and maybe a little jealous of it) and totally motivated to help in whatever way possible.
You're Not A SuperhEro
Unless you are. In which case you should stop reading this and go back to fighting crime. I’m talking to you Batman! For the rest of us (muggles) it’s important to remember that we don’t necessarily have the power to do everything we want to do every time we want to do it. That’s just reality. So why not get some help?
If Money Is An Option...
Then pay someone to help you dummy. If money isn’t an option….then you gotta ask. That’s it.
How do I make a change? It’s a good question. I feel like the only real option is to practice. Just like riding a bike or playing an instrument it seems that the only way for a person who's not innately gifted at asking for help is to practice it. The first thing I'm going to do is practice asking for help out loud (alone in my room like a loser) before I actually do it. My intent is to say it enough that it will feel less weird when I actually do it. The second thing I'm going to do is to force myself over the next few months to ask for help when I need it. Even if I don't want to. Even if it causes me a little emotional distress. And then in a few weeks we will see how I feel.
If you read this and need my help for something, don’t be afraid to ask by e-mailing me at email@example.com
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